Fresh Meat

Flipper

Her deluxe vibrator, "Sir Jolts",
Was rated at ten thousand volts.
'Twas metallic, non-porous
and felt like a porpoise
with a cock that shot pink lighting bolts.

In the traditional style:

There once was a burly Sri Lankar,
Who crewed a Pacific oil tanker,
And at each port of call,
He'd impress one and all,
When he used his prick for an anchor.

It's because he's yellow.

Blessed are those who've retired,
In the bullshit they're no longer mired,
"Better that guy than me",
Said without sympathy,
Did I mention my friend just got fired?