and you make my lamps useless

My intimate relationship with a black hole ended poorly.

"You know I love you. But baby, your super-dense core creates a gravity field that stretches my body matter into infinitely long threads of molecular material."

shirt of turin

Revelation Day 1

There is no longer any question in my mind. Efforts to rationalize my observations are pointless, for all evidence points to one frightening truth:

They are all out to get me.

I thought these things only took place in the Chicago suburbs.

Better Off Dead.

I just don't get the appeal. The only good parts are the skiing sequences. And mountains in Illinois? Hardly.

PSA

Warning Signs of Lycanthropy:

Specifically, a bout of dunderheadedness lasting 10 to 15 minutes during which the suspected werewolf, in the stage of transformation preceeding wolflike behavior, is unable to comprehend even the most simple technologies (ie doors, light switches, pants).

"thank King Arthur you're safe!"

Said the atheist rpg enthusiast to his once lost level 5 pet iguana.