take me out to the childrapists and genocidal zealots

"These people are not above the law, you know, they may fly in private planes and make millions of dollars and be on baseball cards. But a subpoena is exactly what it says it is, and they have to appear," foamed Rep. Tom Davis (R - Va.), regarding several baseballers' mandatory attendance at a hearing this week over performance-enhancing steroids, "and bat corking? Not since Sodom."

Rep. Davis then presented to reporters the 11 minute social education film, Roid Rage, in which an acne-ridden Scott Baio pushes his frigid girlfriend onto a couch.